Posted by: S | March 29, 2011

Jessie Spano Writes a Book?

We live in a world where actors are now novelists, sticking their face on the cover of their life story and calling it journalism.  Snooki, Jesse James, and even the Kardashians all claim they have a story to tell.  But when will this trend stop? I vote now- because Elizabeth Berkley has just released what she calls a self help book for teenage girls entitled, “Ask Elizabeth”.

With no background in psychology or family studies, Elizabeth says she realized this was her calling when she noticed how many of her fans asked for her advice.  This makes me wonder why any professional would bother to waste time getting a degree.  In fact, I know how to use a calculator, so I’m thinking of becoming an accountant next week.  With that said, it’s possible that I’m pre-judging her.

To preface, I’d like to formally admit that I view Elizabeth Berkley and her Saved by the Bell character Jessie Spano as one person, as I assume most of you do.  So with that in mind, this book has potential to be mildly entertaining.  Let’s take a walk down memory lane… As the brains of the group, she is class President, dates a cute jock with dimples, and suffers from an addiction to caffine pills (insert I’m So Excited lyrics here).  Then she stars in Showgirls and her career is tarnished forever.  Sounds like Elizabeth has a lot of life experience from which to speak to teenage girls about.

But wait.  In a recent interview, Berkley states, “I don’t talk about the ‘Saved by the Bell’ time in the book…I talk about other periods in my professional life, but more having to do with me now as a woman.” OHHHH.  This changes everything.

To recap, she’s going to advise us on issues for which she’s not qualified, and not discuss the one topic I’d acutally be interested in hearing.  By taking her alter ego Jessie’s experiences out of the equation, she leaves me no choice but to assume that I’d just be reading about Showgirls.  No thanks Elizabeth.  Maybe I’ll catch you on the Zack Attack band’s reunion tour.

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