Posted by: S | April 8, 2011

Pia Goes Home, Judges Still Suck

Its possible that last night’s American Idol marked the most shocking elimination since Jennifer Hudson. So how did America get it so wrong?  Well, if you look at what happened, you’ll see that maybe it wasn’t really our fault.

If Idol were a running man dance contest or a contest to see who could prove themselves as a bigger bitch, I’d be more than qualified to make my own judgements. But in singing, I, like most viewers need to rely of the judges comments for guidance. Of course, I know who I like (Pia) and who I can’t stand (the girl with the raspy voice), but aside from appearance and performance value, I don’t even know what “pitchy” means, let alone how to recognize it.

So let’s review this past week’s judges comments. Everyone was “in it to win it” (thanks Randy, I had no idea they were interested in winning) and “doing them like no one else could” (as I stated weeks ago, what the fuck does this mean). To make my point clear, I have not heard a criticism big or small from the judges in weeks. While its lovely that this show now represents rainbows and smiley faces, if they’re not going to judge, I’m sure the millions of dollars that Fox pays their high profile judges could be better spent on the country’s deficit.

But wait! That’s right! This week there were a few comments! Look at them earning their paycheck.  Randy thought Stefano “started out rushing the song but then pulled it together nicely” and Jennifer thought that Pia “was great, but could be even greater”. Everyone else was great with not one questionable comment or even advice for the future, thought I thought it was strange they didn’t mention that Scotty’s hip shaking was reminicent of a small town child molester. Its funny that the only two criticized ended up in the bottom two. Its ironic that their criticism barely qualified as negative feedback.  But thats my entire point! A lack of comments leaves voters with not a clue who to vote for, causing them to grasp on to the tinyest comments and label that contestant the bad one of the night.

The judges really need to get their act together because this is becoming a pattern.   Lone criticized Naima went home last week, and now Pia this week.  However, Naima really sucked as a human, so I’m not ready to raise my conspiracy flag just yet, but these votes are no coincidence.  I don’t believe the judges intended for this to happen.  But ya know what, its time to look yourself in the mirror and realize that week after week your lack of comments have created a pseudo witch hunt for those mildly criticized.

For my girl Pia, I can only advise that she look to take after her predecessor J.Hud.  I’d like to see her cast in the upcoming musical reboot Footloose or maybe even get her into the new Rock of Ages movie.  And Pia, if all else fails, Britney Spears is looking for an opening act.  Get on that girl, you’ll bounce right back.



  1. goes to show you its not rigged?
    judges wasted the save

  2. Hey, I’d like to contribute some to this here blog. Shoot me an email and I’ll give you more of my credentials.

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